There are fewer things in life harder to understand, let alone deal with in a healthy way, than finding out a spouse has been unfaithful, says Chuck Sugar. But, there is hope and help for those willing to take the time and make the effort to heal and stabilize the relationship. Here, therapist Chuck Sugar opens up about affair recovery and offers advice for those facing this unthinkable challenge.
Q: What are some common feelings a betrayed spouse experiences after learning of his or her partner’s infidelity?
Chuck Sugar: I think the first response is horror, shock, or misbelief. Then, they experience feelings of hurt, anger, fear, shame, and often an overwhelming sense of abandonment and betrayal. I think the message they often hear is, “what is so wrong with me or our family that you would have an affair?” or “What were you thinking when you did this?”